We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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