I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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