The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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