Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
