I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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