No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
