she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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