Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
