so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
