Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
