Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
