Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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