I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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