My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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