So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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