Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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