Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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