You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
