Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
