i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
