Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
