when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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