did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
