R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
