We're like a lot better than the average bears
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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