Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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