are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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