To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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