Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
