i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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