Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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