Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
