Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
