Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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