I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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