No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
