He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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