You're so nebulous sometimes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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