Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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