: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
