No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
