what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize