So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
