What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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