i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
