At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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