I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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