No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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