They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize