so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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