I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
