ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
