Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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