KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
