I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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