Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
